The old familiar sting of worrying if this might be the last day I get to call her mine. 

I’m making the “Things that piss me off” volume 2 into a video

Person wearing crocs:  Do you like my crocs
My brain:  They look fucking stupid
My instincts:  They look fucking stupid
The universe:  They look fucking stupid
My mouth:  That's a nice tree over there

• People who call a ukulele a “uke.” Seriously? Are you that fucking stupid that you can’t just say ukulele? Or is that just too mainstream for you? Knock it off.
• People who wear socks with sandals. Do I even need to go into detail with this one? You look like a lost tourist. I feel bad for you because of how stupid you look.
• People who wear hats ON TOP OF their hair. Are you fucking damaged?! Do you not understand how hats work?!
• Speaking of hats! Stop wearing fedoras. You look like a douche. You don’t look like a badass, you don’t look cool, you look like a fucking fool.
• People who can’t talk. I notice this more in minorities, just putting that out there. People who slur all their words together and expect to be taken seriously and seen as intelligent people won’t get that from me.
• Same goes for men who wear their shorts in such a way that the bottoms come down to their ankles. You look fucking ridiculous, and I will speak to you as if you are a lesser life form because you obviously don’t know how to look intelligent. Seriously people, knock it the fuck off.
• People who swing their arms abnormally high when they walk. I see you and I instantly think you have cerebral palsy and I feel bad for you, when really you’re just an idiot
• I hate fat people who complain about anything. For whatever reason, I have absolutely no sympathy for you because you lack the basic feature of human life to take care of yourself and not look like a disgusting slob
• I hate modern music. Lady Gaga, Justin Beiber, The Decemberists, etc. You all suck.
• I hate new comedies. You can’t say “fuck” every sentence and expect to be funny. It’s not. It’s trashy (yes, I do it a lot too and I fully understand this)
• Hipsters, just stop
• The Arabic kids at my university who insist on acting sketchy as fuck (they only hang out together at a minimum of 50-60 yards away and whisper everything. No racism intended, if I see anyone doing that I’d be effectively creeped out)
• People who wear long socks with low-cut Converse
• Swagfags
• People who use hashtags on Facebook

I’m not sorry if I offended you, these are just my opinions. If you would like to argue with me, then by all means: argue with me. I love arguing with people. 2 years of debate has really opened my eyes.